yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
