its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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