Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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