the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
