Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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