garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
