I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
