i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
