I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
