He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
