I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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