I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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