I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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