Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
