I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
