i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
