anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
