First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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