worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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