You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
