one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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