he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
