In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
