We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
