we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
