Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
