trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
