I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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