Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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