I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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