You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
