we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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