well you can't waste a boner
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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