i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
