glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
