Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
