She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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