quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
