We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
