I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
