Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
