I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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