sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
