what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
