I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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