you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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