my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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