I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Are my feet made of real feet?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
