Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
