so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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